Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Dogface please

I’ve never liked the labels ‘dog person’ or ‘cat person.’

I like both cats and dogs, and they both serve perfectly legitimate purposes, but if I have to choose a label I’m definitely a dog guy.

Callimachus points out a funny (if slightly profane) post on cats and dogs of which I’ll excerpt just a bit:

Dogface can not only warn you of intruders in an unmistakable aural way, but he can also scare them away, and if that fails, he can actually wound them. Good boy, Dogface. Dogface can live outside comfortably - and that's where all his dander and fur and dirt will blow away, rather than on your furniture. Added bonus: that's also where he will defecate. Instead of, you know, in a box inside your house. Because that would be gross.

Dogface can be trained to help blind people, handicapped people, epileptics, firemen, policemen, the FBI, the DEA, the ATF, the border patrol, military troops, and terminally ill hospice residents. To mention a few. Dogface can be trained to call medics on a freaking telephone. Which he can be trained to do in response to realizing his owner is getting ready to have a seizure. Which he can detect in some way that humans can't even determine.

Catface, on the other hand, can detect his fellow cats' fresh vomit, which he'll have as a snack. And that's about it. Cats have the personality of toenail clippings. I've had about 10 cats in my lifetime, and I dearly loved each one of them. I was a full-fledged "cat person", and I spent many hours talking to and about my cats. But now that I've spent a few years with dogs, good grief. It's like comparing dolphins to jellyfish.

Too funny.